Miscarriage: What’s your story?

This is still a very raw subject for me to write about, but if it will give one woman out there a glimpse of hope then I have accomplished my goal. You don’t know what it feels like until you have actually experienced a miscarriage for yourself. Some women have experienced it once and some have experienced it repeatedly over the span of many years. Some early in their pregnancy and some towards the end. Even if our stories are different, one thing is the same and that is that we have all experienced loss. I remember when I had mine … I had gone to the doctor for a monthly check up and at this point I was in my early second trimester. The doctor couldn’t find the heart beat … I was frantic at this point but hoping maybe the baby wasn’t cooperating as I swear I just had felt movements hours before. When I went to the hospital and they did an ultrasound and still couldn’t find the heart beat I was devastated, angry and in shock; I just couldn’t believe it. Still to this day I don’t know how I got the courage to walk out of the hospital back to my car where my husband was eagerly waiting for me.  It was a very tough night. I felt ashamed; I felt that I did something wrong to have caused this, and all I could think about was “Why me!?” It was so painful. One of the things that got me through it all was reading blog posts of other women explaining their stories and realizing that I was not alone. I was an emotional wreck for a good month and a bit but I knew I had to be strong for myself and for my family. I knew that it wasn’t right to punish myself for this horrible loss. Healing is a journey and we heal in our own ways but it is so important to take care of ourselves and give our hearts and body time to heal so we can move forward. It will be okay. It may not feel like that now or anytime soon but you will get there. Lets talk about a few things that helped me understand and deal with the loss.

As I mentioned before reading other women’s blogs were a big inspiration for me and knowing I was not alone helped me a great deal so THANK YOU to all the women out there who where brave enough to share their stories. For those women who still can’t find a voice to share their story, I hear you and I get it, because it took me awhile too to feel just an ounce of comfort to share my story.

After my miscarriage I was experiencing major anxiety! The trauma that my body had gone through, the uncertainty of what the future holds and the pain of staring at an empty nest. Eventually I learned to focus on meditation and grounding techniques to help ease my anxiety. I also focused on self care and that helped me feel grounded. My partner also was a very big support system, I leaned on him a great deal and we went through this pain together. I have noticed that not many people talk about how their partners cope with miscarriages but they are grieving the loss as well. He was beyond devastated for the loss but to see me having to experience this loss not only physically but mentally took a toll on him as well. It was important for us to have a good communication system with one another and that helped us a lot. 

With this opening blog post, I look forward to further sharing my stories, thoughts and experiences with you and provide you with ways to cope with your loss. My main hope is that women and Moms out there who visit my page not to feel alone, because no mom ever deserves to feel alone and not heard.